Falling

So two years after my friend (the QGF) created the blog for me, I decide that I need to contribute to it. Why? A simple fall.

Yesterday, after running a little over 4 miles I fell twice on my walk home. I fell the first time climbing up a staircase exiting a new sushi place that I found in my neighborhood. I love small family-owned places. Only at small family-owned places can I enter with a twenty-dollar bill - and confess that that is all the money I have – and walk out with more than enough sushi for both me and my roommate. So, as I exited the sushi place I bit it walking up the staircase with my bag.

I fell for a second time, immediately after exiting the restaurant. I was just telling my roommate how I fell UP (so embarrassing, btw, to fall UP stairs ---but, truthfully, I do it all the time) the stairs and no sooner than DURING that story, I trip off the curb. She’s like “are you okay?!?!” (Translation: what the hell is wrong with you?!?!).

So that should have been it, but I knew it wasn’t. I live by the notion that everything happens in threes. I have been observing events in threes since my mother told me about that little superstition when I was a kid. Am I the only one? It could be the most random thing – i.e. a celebrity death – she’d walk by the television and say “it always happens in threes.” I’d have to wait – or she’d watch the paper until three celebrities actually died.

Thus, I knew I was going to fall again ---I figured it’d happen that night – and frankly I should have thrown myself to the ground in a preemptive fall, but I knew that wouldn’t count…And, I thought I might be off-the-hook when I made it home and finished dinner without falling.

And then I needed to take a shower!!!! Now I’ve NEVER fallen in the tub before. It is one of those nightmarish thoughts I’m sure everyone has. I mean, I’ve always associated falling in the shower with certain death. Falling in the shower, to me, is like poking my eye out on a bathroom stall coat hook. I mean – I get the chills just writing that.

So in the shower, I start per my routine by washing my hair. After lathering my hair, I turn to rinse the soap from my eyes and then it happened ------ I push my left foot forward but my heal slips –leg in the air --- I’m thinking back of the tub ---head on the wall – certain death. I pivot (somehow) to my right looking for something to grab onto – NOTHING. I fell backward OUT of the shower onto the bathroom floor. My back and neck are killing me, but the fall didn’t. I survived both my third fall and falling in the shower. And this, people, is my first official blog entry - another narcissist is revealed.