When Comfort Becomes Uncomfortable

As consumers we (or at least I) all aspire toward a certain level of comfort and familiarity with our local establishments. To acquire this, we patron the same places and order the same things – even sometimes when we wouldn't want that same thing from that place. For example, one of my favorites is that I order a toasted bagel butter jelly from my bagel shop. I walk up and they say "bagel" and I say yes and it comes and I am happy. I order nothing else because I don't want to disturb that. If I want something else, I go somewhere else.

BUT where this goes awry is ---- days like today. Today, I stop to get my bagel. I say nothing, but "hi" and it comes. I grab it --- they know I don't want a bag because I always eat it on my walk to the office ----- I am simply handed my bagel, wrapped, with some napkins. Anyway today, I get a few steps down the hall unwrap my bagel and it isn't a plain bagel with butter and jelly. It is a SALT BAGEL with butter and jelly. Who eats that? So the question is --- what do I do? Today, I ate it. Why? Because today (and all this week) I am in a terrible mood. I wouldn’t simply say – "hey, I think this has salt on it." I would say --- "…." Well you know me. . . I am not called the Black Larry David for nothing. . . It would have been a situation, so I let it slide.

Same is true with my coffee guy across the street. He expects me daily --- with my coffee buddy --- we order the same thing. But sometimes, now more often than not, he doesn't make the coffee sweet enough. . . We usually say nothing. Further, some days I don't want coffee . . . Of course, I don't go to him when I don't want coffee. . . I go elsewhere for a snack, or a soda, or a lottery ticket or whatever. But, I can feel his eyes watching me. It makes me feel guilty. I want to walk the long way so avoid the Watching and Judging eyes. This is a lot. This is more than I would deal with in anonymity. This is like me falling asleep in church and the Priest asking me ---- "everything okay?" I love when the priest knows me, but I . . . well, you get the point.

First and Hopefully Last Brush with Swine Flu

At a party Saturday night that I shouldn't have been at. First, I didn’t know the birthday girl and, second, I had previously just committed to the first three-quarters of Troy. Achilles had just killed Hector, in what I'd proffer as Brad Pitt's finest feat of acting.

Anyway, I make it to this party, it was cool. I was grossly underdressed, but it was dark and people were TIPSY. The birthday girl wasn't tipsy enough to allow me to enter unnoticed --- she approached me at the door like HELLO?!?! I'm like I'm a friend of Elizabeth's --- "oh, okay" squeal, hug.

Have a couple drinks, meet a couple people – lawyers, obnoxious.

Party is coming to a close. People are trying to decide whether or not to go to Karaoke after. One girl who I had been talking to and who described herself as "super cool" was heading home early.

I was like, "I thought you were super cool?!?"
She was like, "I am, but I have swine flu."
Me: think, think, think, process – must be joke "oh, haha!"
She goes, "no really, I have swine flu, I've been out of work all week."
I'm like "NOOOOO, really?" "Elizabeth, hey --- is she joking."
Elizabeth: "Oh haha, no she really has it, she was out all week."
I'm like: "who goes out with swine flu, are ya'll kidding me."
Girl: "it's cool; doctor said it's no longer contagious."
I'm like: "really… isn't it a virus?!?!"
Girl: "No, doctor said it hasn't been contagious since Thursday."
I'm like: THURSDAY. It's Saturday, it has only been two days!!!!

The girl leaves. . . I'm like… "wow, who goes out with swine flu?" Elizabeth says, "its fine, she's still alive… just think of it like a vaccine." I'm like.. "Okay."

Gin and Tonic, please!! G&T is my magic potion.

What the what?

Hat pulled to the side so you can't see his eyes
Had pulled tight so he can't see the light
Not sharing looks so you can't see his fight
Standing his ground despite recommended flight
It's Friday the 13th but no feelings of fright
Life is bliss like I can see without sight
Everything aglow like a moon on the river at night
The river looks mad calm, but it's moving like I'm moving on
Walking backward because I don't care where I'm going
Dumming-it-down so you can't see I'm growing
Biting my tongue so you can't hear I'm flowing
Gas you up assuring you you're all-knowing
And I'm chuckling, in fact laughing, waving my hand as I'm passing
I've got years in this game, yo, I'm Tuck Everlasting
No growing up, why you think I still have the hip hop blasting?
And I'm dancing because I'm happy
Somebody slap me, because I'm not sure what's happening