First World Problems

Is Craig day (Sunday) becoming complicated?  Not really.  It's still easy.  Mass is a staple.  It is only a matter or when and where: 11:30 or 5pm, Princeton or Plainsboro.  So far, actually, I've yet to attend church in Plainsboro.  I am a creature of habit, no doubt, but I also think I rather enjoy Princeton, and its food options, on a Sunday.

Sunday also sometimes involves a workout or a visit from a friend.  I'd take more of either.  More often, it involves sitting around all day watching football.  I have the red zone channel and can't seem to tear myself away from the TV.  It's not a bad way to spend Sunday, as I enjoy football, but I never feel good afterward.  And besides, Sunday evening is also my favorite TV-watching night.  It's really the only day I watch TV; Sunday doesn't have a bad season.

Now, however, and I don't know how this happened, but there is a major conflict.  There is absolutely nothing on at 8pm.  So I supposed the 8 to 9 hour is a wash (Words with Friends, Chess with Friends and Scramble, but thinking I could spend an hour reading or exercising or even catching up with a friend), but the 9pm hour is mad drama.  Somehow, 3 of my favorite shows are all scheduled to come on at 9: Dexter, Boardwalk Empire and Revenge.  I guess thank God Mad Men is not on.  Anyway, I guess I used this hour productively ----- I blogged, chatted on FaceBook with a good friend and set the DVR to record Revenge and Dexter.  I hope it works.  The decision is Boardwalk Empire ---- and it starts in 1 minute.

Body, I command you to move. Move now!

First Karate class complete.  I'm alive, no black eye.  The kids didn't laugh at me, nor did they make fun of me.  I didn't feel awkward at all, they were nice.  There was one other adult and while she had an Orange Belt, she was just as bad as me in the same boat as me.

It's bizarre.  I got there early to watch for a while.  It seemed simple, kick, punch and kia (spirit yell).  Side kick, front kick.. sure okay.  NO.  Only in my mind.  The body - tight, uncooperative... and my balance was horrible.

It was no where near as bad as yoga.  I will certainly return - only, with tempered expectations and humility.

What's Next? Wax On, Wax Off

Thinking I have identified it.  Karate.  It works... I think.  Meets several needs:

1. getting in shape
2. getting zen
3. meeting people
4. I can daydream about being Jason Bourne and doing Jason Bourne shit ... should I need to
5. it is something I never finished.  While talking to my grandmother... about... what's next... she randomly said "well, you never got your black belt."  It seems that came out of nowhere.  Perhaps from above.  I last took Karate in high school.  How is it possible that I had been pondering it and randomly my grandmother suggests it?

The problem is, I will need to start from scratch.  Fine by me; white belt for now.  Given my current range of motion and balance, it's probably for the best.

Good Night

Decent day at work and a healthy lunch (salmon covered in cucumbers). Followed by very few work-related emails this evening.  I didn't go for a run, because I left the office a little later than expected, but the result:

Stopping at Game Stop to nerd out with nerdy guys.  Purchased 4 games for the Xbox Kinnect - Star Wars, Michael Jackson Experience, James Bond and Fighters Uncaged.  3 of 4 games were pre-owned.  I saved considerably.  I'd been eyeing MJ Experience since it came out.  I've always liked James Bond games.  I may or may not play it, ever, but it was dirt cheap.  The other two games, are part of my new approach to getting in shape.  I have an odd feeling that it will be a cold winter - and while it is not winter yet, I want to have a routine established.  That, and, it is dark as hell in my neighborhood and I don't think running in the dark is in the cards for me.  I just don't feel comfortable doing it.  I miss this about NYC - the city with an insane electric bill.  And, as for running in the morning, TBD, but I can't wait on that motivation either.  Anyway, tonight's purchases inspired me to dust off one of my old games (I'm odd like this, I am most-oft guilty of purchasing new books as inspiration for reading books I already own... hmm...), "Your Shape, Fitness Evolved 2012"

I did several warm up exercises, then did two sets of Tai Chi.  I actually did two sets twice each because I couldn't get that shit right, but I am practicing.  [Side bar:  I have two, maybe three, co-workers now committed to taking Tai Chi classes with me once I find a suitable location.  Researching Tai Chi, I started to wonder (read: ADHD) if Kinnect games existed, I looked up games and found that Your Shape is one of the best... who knew? Who also knew that good martial arts games don't yet exist for Kinnect?].  I followed my "workout" with a quest for Jedi knighthood, a treat, but actually a pretty decent workout too.

Games, followed by nice shower, followed by putting a Black Berry face mask on my face.  I've owned this face mask treatment for so long that I don't even remember buying it.  Nonetheless, the mask delayed my bedtime by 20 minutes, hence the blog entry.

It all comes full circle.  Now my face is itching.  Time to "peel".  Goodnight.

Blank

I Have the time to blog and have absolutely nothing to write about.  My mind is just blank.  Aside from my inability to produce words in this venue, I think this is overall a good thing.  I am not saying I am in great or good place, but I can't say I am in a bad place either.  I am just in limbo.  My evil alter ego, Evil Cecil, has been on vacation for quite some time.  That's good, but the other side is gone too.  Where has the bubbly, silly, brainless Craig been?  I miss him.  I'm wondering if this is a stop to the pendulum swing.  It that a good thing?  Have I matured? Meaning: silly Craig gets into trouble, lures people into thinking he is a pushover or says/does regrettable things ---- and Cecil has to step in to protect Craig, clean up the situation and/or show remorse.  I don't know.

Could I be happy in the middle?  I could certainly do without being sad or angry or anxious.   Only time will tell.  My CEO always says something interesting about being on meds and why people who need meds choose not to take them, despite consequences.  He says, you only feel like a [insert issue] when you are on your meds, when you are off your meds, you feel normal (despite not acting normal).  By now, I suppose I need to state for the record ---- I AM NOT on meds and I am not off my meds.  This isn't the issue at all.  I am just being introspective because I have nothing better to do; any of us, being overly introspective, can tap into the crazy.... the dark side of our psyche.  [This analogy is much more clear in my mind than I can put to puts]

Now that's funny.  I talk about tapping into the dark side, but this all started because I am in the neutral grey.  I certainly don't miss the dark, but I do miss the light.  The question is, can I have one without the other?  I'm not sure many people can.  Perhaps, it is merely seeing shades of light in the grey.  Perhaps it is more of what has suppressed the dark.  What do I think I am doing right?  Running more, enjoying the newness of my new place, staying financially organized, keeping busy with OnDemand television, remembering my mother's smile and how cute she was, taking fewer risks.  What can get me to the next level?  Reading more, hanging my art and finally completing my apartment, exercising a bit more (perhaps undertaking an activity such as soccer or karate or tennis), getting caught up at work (if this is even possible).  I also should be taking more risks.  Risks can lead back to the dark, but cold produce more light.  What risks am I avoiding?  There are two that come to mind.

First, I've got to take more risks at work.  I've been working under the "if you don't play, you can't lose mentality.  I've been doing this to remove myself from the drama and fly below the radar.  That was and is currently necessary.  It is too crazy and volatile right now in the office - so many changes, so many new faces and a battle for power and responsibility.  I am not in a position to get involved in that and I don't want to right now.  I'm not gunning for the top... and I am okay with not doing so right now.  However, I know my life goals and ambition and I know that I want to be relevant and respected and I'll eventually have to reenter the game.  For, those who don't play, can't win either.

Second, I'll have to soon put my heart back out there.  I am not really sure how to do this.  I have mastered the art of friendship, but I wonder how to make myself "that guy."  I can do this, I know it.    I am just realizing that I cannot be so passive.  It has been my experience and it is time to acknowledge that a girlfriend will not simply "fall out of the sky."  That would be nice.  I may need a little Evil Cecil for this though.  Girls love to be friends with Craig, but I feel like anything that has grown to more has always involved Cecil.  All of the books on this subject speak to why...But I want a nice girl who wants a nice guy and that's all I'll say on this subject.

Wow, I've just written a bunch of nothing.

The size of everything

Some nerdy shit.  I love it

http://htwins.net/scale2/scale2.swf?bordercolor=white

Top 5 rappers

Not necessarily my favorites, but the best in terms of skill and the way I personally connect with their lyrics and influence.  I could put them against anyone, at their best, but consistently their middle of the road stuff could be put against most others' best and still be considered great.

Without further ado, let's spark the controversy; in no particular order:

My Top 5

• Eminem (emotion, flow, word choice, delivery, creativity, diction)
• Notorious Big (lyrical wizardry, word choice, delivery, creativity, story telling)
• Lauryn Hill (rhythm, flow, word choice, but if not here, then down there with snoop, I really wish she kept rhyming) 
• Little Wayne (metaphors; I think i am talking about lil wayne when I say "not my favorite", but if you really, really listen to him.. he says the craziest things)
• Method Man (diction, consistency, but unfortunately not persistance)

Honorable mentions

• Q-Tip (smooth voice)
• Ice Cube (story telling)
• Slick Rick (story telling, smooth flow)
• Busta Rhymes (sick flow, rhythm)
• Tupac (emotion)
• Kanye (creativity, rhythm, flow and he's a student of the art, keeps improving)
• Jay-Z (top 5 consideration for the way he can connect with the audience, I truly respect this artist)
• Prodigy (realness)
• Nas (realness, flow, storytelling, consistency, lyrics)
• Raekwon (flow consistency)
• KRS One (Criminal Minded was the first rap song I memorized)
• Andre 3000 (he makes me laugh, skill)
• Big Pun (flow)
• Rakim (I feel like he taught everyone how do do it)

Producers (so necessary, in no particular order... and please forgive omissions here... I write about that which I do not know)

• Dr. Dre
• Pharrell (and/or The Neptunes)
• Kanye
• Scott La Rock
• P-Diddy
• Jam Master Jay
• Swizz Beats
• Trackmasters
• RZA
• Alchemist
• Just Blaze
• Havoc
• Timbaland 
• Pete Rock
• DJ Premier 
• Wyclef

Not Honorable mention, because I don't want to put everyone there, but if I didn't want to pair the list down:

• Redman 
• Common (kinda like Redman - i like him and acknowledge his skill, but he doesn't connect with me and never has his rhyme inspired me, or made me rewind it or move me like any of the artist in the above two categories)
• Talib Kweli or Mos Def (want to put one of these two guys above, discovered both too late in life)
• Snoop Dog (if only for Doggy Style and everything he did prior; he he stayed on that trajectory, he's be top 5!)
• LL Cool J (sometimes I sit in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall and in the back of my mind I hear my conscious call)
• Royce the 59 (has held his own on records with Eminem)
• Lupe (can put it on and let it play through)

Appreciating the Small Things

Kenyon Boys (And missing those not pictured)

• Waking up on Saturdays to no alarm
• Having Saturday plans
• Friends and traveling 2 hours into the city for a 2-hour bonding session and 2 hours back and knowing I'd do it again
• Instagram for making memories look good
• Facebook for sharing memories and roping others into them
• Blog readers who keep me motivated to share
• CNN for expanding my TV watching to 4 total channels (HBO, ESPN and sometimes NBC)
• The mini-gym 3 minutes walking from my apartment (mini gym has literally 4 machines, but they happen to be the only 4 machines I have ever and likely will ever use - treadmill, bike, elliptical, and something for me to pretend to do arms on)
• That the sun is coming out as I write this
• That it was raining previously, so that I can now appreciate the sun
• That the CEO, who I was certain hated me, said hi to me twice on Thursday and once on Friday.  He still might hate me, but he said hi and somehow I'm acknowledging my appreciation of this 
• That I will get judged by other people I appreciate for the previous bullet point (what's that term....Stockholm Syndrome???)
• Feeling at peace... if only for this very minute

The Full Clinton

So I am definitely enjoying the Democratic National Convention.  It's a love fest.  I wonder if there is anything comparable to a political convention.  A room full of intelligent, articulate egos pontificating.  It's fun and I enjoy the learning.  I am embarrassed to say I missed the RNC.  I shouldn't have, but I supposed there is YouTube; we'll see where my motivation lies.  Last night was wonderful.  I am not ashamed to say I am a Bill Clinton groupie.  He is undeniably brilliant.  I was taught at a young age that intelligence isn't using fancy words or simply understanding things well enough to ace an exam, but rather the ability to think quickly and to take complex ideas and articulate them in simple easily understandable ways.  There are few people who can do this as well as William Jefferson Clinton.  He's long been great, but last night I think he gave the best speech of his life.  It was long, but that's vintage Bill, but I don't think I blinked.  What I did do, however, is share the experience with many friends (via text and Facebook).  I'd like to share, without attribution, a some of my favorite one-liners:

• "well i give ur man some propa.  bubba broke it down!!! still in lurve with barack tho"

• "Amazing.  I love that man."

• "That man has always had a way with words.  I saw him live in NH...even then he knocked my socks off. (Not in a sexual way...mostly...)"

• "I have no words, only emotions; I laughed, cried, clapped...."

• "Bill Clinton still has it.  Swagger on a hundred thousand trillion.  He's got all his mojo right now."

• "This shit is actually shockingly good"

• "I'm actually get hyped up over this"

• "Goddamn I love and miss Bill Clinton"

• "time to crank up the volume - it's william jefferson clinton!!!!!!!!"

• "flirting already"

• "Chills"

• "Final thought - I think Bill's conversational wonky style makes it easy for Barack to come in and do the soaring rhetoric he does so well without a lot of comparison. Well played."

• "You know what? I'm so glad we spent so much of this guy's energy rifling through his panty drawer. I'm sure he couldn't have spent it elsewhere."

T-shirts

We all have them.  And we all have dirty little secrets pertaining to our t-shirts.  I've been folding t-shirts for hours and thought... why not share my secrets.

Logistics

• I roll my t-shirts instead of folding them and store them in a drawers separated as follows - white shirts, grey shirts, all other colors, long sleeve t-shirts.  I almost have enough navy shirts to warrant an independent drawer.
• I started rolling my shirts about 2 years ago for several reasons.  First, obviously, it saves space.  Moving to NYC, I became very space conscious and picked up numerous habits relating to.  Second, I can't fold for shit.  Rolling minimizes wrinkles.  Finally, I roll my clothes when packing for travel; this saves a step.
• I have way too many t-shirts.  We all do, moving on.

Practice

• I have t-shirts of all colors and they serve 3 purposes, actually 4.  I wear them solo, but not often, and, when I do, I prefer to wear statement shirts.  I wear them under other shirts.  I wear white and grey under anything (even grey when it's barely appropriate) and try to coordinate what I wear the other colors under.  I wear t-shirts to workout.  Long-sleeve t-shirts are clutch for early spring and late fall running.  I also love to wear long-sleeve t-shirts under athletic vests.  Finally, I have on several occasions used t-shirts in lieu of newspaper for packing glasses and plates while moving.
• Once a t-shirt becomes old, I relegate it to sleeping-shirt status.  Once the shirt hits sleeping-shirt status, it gets its own drawer.  Sleeping shirts also double as workout shirts.  I usually sleep in a shirt for a few nights, then work out in it.  If I am heading to play sports with a friend, I'll grab a fresh old shirt.
• There are 3 tiers of old shirt.  Sleep and then workout.  Sleep when having company and/or wear to a tennis date.  Sleep and work up the courage to throw away.  I generally throw these 3rd-tier shirts away when I am moving, having a cleaning fit or trying to avoid overloading the washing machine.  I also wear a shirt one last time before tossing it.  I hardly ever toss clean shirts (unless packing for a move).
• There are some t-shirts I covet and never wear.  I am not sure how/why this happens, but I save these shirts for occasions that never come.  Examining the shirts I choose to covet, I can draw no sound conclusions as to why.  Sometimes they are sporting-team related.  Sometimes I get the shirt as part of a class project and other times they are shirts I pick up being a tourist.  One says "Amsterdam Drinking Team" another says "Harrah's London".  Finally, some are gifts that I don't really like, but can't seem to part with.  I can honestly say there is one shirt in my covet collection that I've had since 1996 and another since 1997.  
• Lastly, I wear "large."  I switched from extra-large to large several years ago.  There are several reasons for this:  (1) lost the baby fat, (2) I wanted shirts that fit better - one day I noticed I was swimming in extra large, (3) I stopped tucking my shirt in... probably leading to the realization in #2, and (4) large shirts fit better under my polos.  It is so tacky when the shirt sleeves hang out.  I am still guilty of this from time to time.

Thanks for reading this utter nonsense.  I supposed I should return to rolling my shirts.

Verizon Fios

Yes it warrants its own entry.  Anyway, I won't go into detail about stuff I am way late to the game on (on demand, DVR, HD channels), but I do have some other observations.

First, with this, do I even need a computer? The overlap between TV, Phones, Tablets, gaming systems (Xbox, etc) computers is getting silly.    First, with my xBox, I don't even need a second cable box.  I can take my xBox into the bedroom, download the Fios app and stream my TV through the box.  With the xBox, I can watch Netflicks and game online with friends wherever.  With the Fios box, I can log into facebook (not that I would, but this is what the guy showed me), checkout the weather application (on demand by location), search for restaurants and map directions (the mapping feature is off the chains, I can zoom and change map types, satellite, etc).  I can even program my phone and change the channels, etc. from my FREAKING PHONE.

Now bad big brother stuff:  I can view the top 20 shows downloaded in my area and can view several other things that are going on in my area.  So if someone in my complex loves porn, I'd know it.  Further, the guy was told, but did not (I believe him), to download something to my computer.  He said to tell me it was so I can "confirm something", but he said it is really so they can see what I download, browsing history, etc. so they can make "recommendations."  He said he doesn't trust it, but gets in trouble when he doesn't do it.  I think he picks and chooses when he "forgets" or "says the customer wouldn't allow it".  He was a smart guy, very smart and very nice.  But I think he is a little skeptical where things are going at Verizon.  Now I am... Interesting.   But, as has long been the case with technology, conveniences, accessibility, etc., we trade freedoms and privacy.  Wonder where the balance will go.  I digress.

Moving

Started packing Thursday.  Now unpacking on Saturday.  Whirlwind.  I am liking the new place.  It's different from the old place.  The old place had character, colorful walls and was located in a wonderful neighborhood.  The new place is modern, everything is sterile (white walls, stainless steal appliances), and is located in a complex.  The complex has a pool and small gym.  The old place had high ceilings and walls on a slant.  The new place has low ceilings and is box-shaped.  It is so simple that I could have designed it.  I did it.  I am missing my little den/mudroom, but have gained tons and tons of closet space. I traded jumbo washer/dryer combo for stackable units.  The living room is much bigger, but the bedroom is much smaller.  I think I will have to place my desk awkwardly in the living room or toss it.  It's an old wooden desk.  It is sturdy and has a big under-drawer.  It has character.  This is why I keep it.  But if I replaced it, you bet I'd replace it with a modern black desk.  Contradiction.  I'll shop around and give it thought.

Speaking of shopping.  I moved from a 1BR to a 1BR.  I had everything I needed in my last place.  Or so it seemed.  I now have a growing list of things I need.  Patio chairs I wouldn't have had, even thought I had a rooftop.  I've traded a rooftop for a patio.  The patio is smaller and is even smaller with my bike on it, but it's private and all mine and I might like it better.  But the other items, bedside lamp, etc. might be more *opportunity* (read: vanity) than necessity.

More differences.  I traded being able to walk everywhere (for food, drinks, culture) and not having a parking spot to needing to drive absolutely everywhere (or order in) to having a parking spot right outside my door.  Private landlord to leasing company.  Garbage and recycling pick ups to once a week to big dumpster.  Beautiful Princeton campus to golf course.  Silence and darkness at night to more silence and darkness at night.  Occasional noise from students to noise from crickets.  Wildlife differences to be determined, but I've already seen a frog (yes a FROG) outside my door.  I jumped because . . . well, I just jumped.

Finally, I traded Direct TV for Verizon Fios.  Don't make me go into details.  The difference is fucking unreal.