First Dream About Her...

And so there is a first time for everything. It happened. I had a dream about her. Warning I am entering dream land now:

So I’m walking home from work and talking to my friend Michelle. Why Michelle? Because I always talk to Michelle. What were we talking about? Very likely nothing. But we were loving it. We were likely putting each other down, putting our jobs down, putting the random people we encounter down, and then lifting ourselves back up with laughter ---obnoxious child-like giggling. I enjoy said conversations. Then I get call-waiting. I’m annoyed by the sound of the beep in my ear, but I look down to see who it is that dares to ring me while I’m in therapy. OMG it’s her. I tell Michelle. What do I do? Do I pick up? Should I continue that game that no one is playing but me? She exclaims “PICK UP FOOL.” So I click over.

It’s her and I am nervous/anxious. “Hello” I say tentatively. “How’s it going?” [Okay, no more quotes – I can’t quote and maintain a solid train of thought]. She says – hey. I didn’t call to talk about THAT or the job search, but rather I have a funny story to tell you. She starts talking, but suddenly I can’t really hear her. I’m trying to concentrate, but suddenly there is the overwhelming sound of construction in the background. All I can make out is random words like “Professor,” “grant,” “$250,000” – so little where I don’t know what’s going on, but enough where I am wondering why we are talking about this and where this is going. So I end the conversation. I say, I’m sorry, the construction is overwhelming… Can I call you back?

I immediately call Michelle back. I can hear her perfectly. I’m telling her about the conversation and was being a little mean. She’s scolding me and explaining why the professor story is interesting. I can’t understand why she’s saying what she’s saying, but her words made total sense. Just then, I walk through a big swarm of NATS. Eyes, Nose, Mouth – I’m gagging. I explain what just happened and decide it was my punishment for making fun of the professor story. We decide that I need to call her back. I do. It rings and rings, but she doesn’t pick up. I recall, clearly, the feeling that she had come to her senses and no longer wants to talk to me. I recall the feeling that I have just given back the power by calling back and her not picking up (everything is a power struggle, including who is the last to call, isn’t it?).

I call Michelle back to whine. Just then, I hit another swarm of NATS. Now it is not just a swarm, but I am completely surrounded by them. I fall. I am laying on the ground freaking out. Suddenly the number 7 bus goes by and I really want to catch it, but I can’t get up. I try to hail it from the ground, but it pulls off. What’s strange is --- I was outside of NJPAC (Dirty’s Performing Arts Center) and I was lying, under the NATS, at the light rail station. There is no bus. I’ve never taken the number 7 bus anywhere in any of the cities I’ve ever lived in. But that was my bus.

Suddenly, I am no longer on the call with Michelle, but I am talking to Lydia Lawless, who is pissed that I am on the ground. She makes me get up and proceeds to scold me about why I go to bed so late and how I need to get my life together, etc. Just as she was really laying into me I wake up. I’ve blown 40 minutes past my alarm. Exit Dream land.