Routines and Whatnot

Must have a shower before I go to bed or I can't sleep; must have a shower in the morning or I can't wake up and function ---- relaxing, rejuvenating. Did I tell you the water temperature is always the same? Riddle me that.

Always read the paper cover-to-cover on the train; always, unless I am having a particularly slow-reading day, finish one stop before my stop – in time for a 3-5 minute nap (really an eye-closing refocus).

Get to work. Always open my Gmail before I open my outlook. Guess that shows you where my priorities are. I always open a second tab so I can open facebook after I open outlook and I'll read status updates while my outlook and calendar sync. Oh how I love status update. Love, love, love them.

I especially love pictures. Any new photo albums? Did any of my ladies go to the beach? I love when the ladies go to the beach; especially those ladies I really shouldn't be facebook friends with anyway. Distant law school or undergrad crushes…. Did you really wear that to the beach? Are you really posting that for everyone to see? Thank you. Again not my good friends. However, good guy friends beware. I must check the status of my aging-gut against yours. I do judge; just as I judge myself. Ha! We all have work to do.

Alas, as to facebook and gmail, I am really not that much of a slacker-rebel as I make myself out to be. Oh, I've already checked my work email. When? Let's see ----- blackberry before bed, blackberry every commercial, blackberry when out and I am slightly bored, black berry on the elevator leaving my building, and blackberry on the elevator heading up to my office. I am well-informed and never walk into a surprise. And if work email is slow, I BBM. Everyone loves a little BBM intermittently throughout the day… and night.

Notice I didn't say blackberry on my walk to work. Nope, that's reserved for breakfast. What, you ask? Generally, a toasted bagel butter with jelly. I merely need to walk to the counter and, voila, it is ordered. All four of my bagel-window employees understand this need. They probably think I am weird. I say I eat a TBBWJ 60 percent of the time. I eat a donut (different vendor) 20 percent of the time (much too much), breakfast at home (one of two things: either cereal or a slice of peanut butter toast with a banana – seriously) 15 percent of the time (more when St. Steph was around – sadness), and I treat myself to a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit the remaining 5 percent of the time. Those numbers are deadly-accurate and there is hardly any deviation from the aforementioned routine. How sad?

What is missing from this post? Talk of work. I am in a decent mood this morning and don't want to ruin it talking about hell. Exercise --- I need to add exercise to my routine (see, infra, judging my gut); I have an arsenal of things to tap into – basketball, soccer, tennis, running and Wii, but do nothing consistently. I wonder if I chose just one would I be able to implement it into my routine... I am not ready for that level of monotony, but I am ready to be rid of my gut. Ugh! Marathon next November though! Reading, almost finished with my third Gladwell book – Outliers. What's next? Atlas Shrugged? Les Liaisons dangereuses?

Okay, time to get to that routine that I failed to mention earlier. Paying clients are waiting my brilliant interpretation of their situation. It's shitty!

Most Visited Never Lies

Welp, so CEO using my computer on the overhead projector. For some reason, he wanted to go on the Internet. . . For some reason he clicks new tab. My favorites came up and it looked like this. I am clearly researching Facebook and Yahoo! Fantasy Football and ESPN and checking my balance more than I am doing anything else. Clearly. Yes he did pause and look at it and make it awkward.

It was hardly the most awkward part of the meeting so it was par for the course.

A list of words I don't want to hear

Dear APA,

Here are a list of words that need to be stricken from the record of our written exchanges. Verbal is fine because I can read your face and tell that you are actually joking. As for antonyms, just your judgement in inverting the words. HA

crazy: adjective
Definition: mentally strange
Synonyms:

ape, barmy, bats in the belfry, batty, berserk, bonkers*, cracked, crazed, cuckoo, daft, delirious, demented, deranged, dingy*, dippy, erratic, flaky, flipped, flipped out, freaked out, fruity, idiotic, insane, kooky, lunatic, mad, mad as a March hare, mad as a hatter, maniacal, mental*, moonstruck, nuts, nutty, nutty as fruitcake, of unsound mind, out of one's mind, out of one's tree, out to lunch, potty, psycho, round the bend, schizo, screw loose, screwball, screwy, silly, touched*, unbalanced, unglued, unhinged, unzipped, wacky

Antonyms:
balanced, realistic, reasonable, responsible, sane, sensible, smart

crazy: adjective
Definition: unrealistic, fantastic
Synonyms:

absurd, balmy, beyond all reason, bizarre, cockeyed, derisory, eccentric, fatuous, foolhardy, foolish, goofy*, half-baked, harebrained, idiotic, ill-conceived, impracticable, imprudent, inane, inappropriate, insane, irresponsible, loony, ludicrous, nonsensical, odd, out of all reason, outrageous, peculiar, preposterous, puerile, quixotic, ridiculous, senseless, short-sighted, silly, strange, unworkable, weird, wild

Antonyms:
believeable, realistic, reasonable, sensible

crazy: adjective
Definition: infatuated, in love
Synonyms:

ardent, beside oneself, devoted, eager, enamored, fanatical, hysterical, keen, mad, passionate, smitten, wild, zealous

Antonyms:
dislike, hate

absurd: adjective
Definition: ridiculous, senseless
Synonyms:

batty, campy, crazy, daffy, dippy, flaky*, fooling around, foolish, for grins, freaky, gagged up, goofy*, idiotic, illogical, inane, incongruous, irrational, jokey, joshing, laughable, loony, ludicrous, nonsensical, nutty, off the wall, preposterous, sappy*, screwy, silly, stupid, tomfool, unreasonable, wacky

Antonyms:
certain, logical, rational, reasonable, sensible, wise