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Frustration defined: Not yet winning a single game of ping pong against Kenji since we purchased the table. Absurdity defined: making a bet that I’d win ONE GAME within 20 or I’d have to do a 15 minute power point presentation on the history of ping pong with time for question and answer. As you have noted there are several absurdities. First, why should I not be able to win one game in twenty? Second, now I have to give a 15 minute presentation. Finally, why do I keep making bets with Kenji when I never win? Okay, three is not several, but I’ve made my point.
About this presentation. I’m annoyed first because I don’t want to do it. I am sure it will be awful, as well as boring. But more than anything, it will be embarrassing. I can guarantee you that Kenji is likely composing an evite and compiling names to invite to a “presentation party” such that I have to present in the most awkward environment ever. He’s already hinted at folks he might invite. My stomach is turning as I write this. I’d much rather present the state of the economy to a joint commission of Federal Reserve liaisons than speak in front of my friends.
I will try to get out of this presentation. Two things will likely happen – Kenji will deny me. The Japanese are a cruel race (ala Bridget Jones’ mother). Or, I’ll come up with an adequate double-or-nothing counter and will lose that too! I always LOSE – even when I should win. One of my favorite (or least favorite) case-in-points is the time I made a bet that I would ask (yes, simply ASK) three girls on a date by some date (likely a month from the time we made the bet). I lost, of course, because I am a loser (in every sense of the word in this case), and had to give up meat for a month. This sounds easier than it is. Two weeks in, I was begging for a new challenge. It came. It came in the form of two-on-two basketball – the teams Kenji and Chris against me and Tara (Chris’ wife). I am decent at basketball. It is perhaps the one sport I can definitely beat Kenji at. I figured I’d just go Kobe and I’d be off to Brazilian BBQ to celebrate. Nope! - lost by ONE. I’m still scratching my hair out, literally. I lost meat for another month!
About losing. I hate losing. HATE. I can deal and lose gracefully when I lose to someone better or I don’t beat myself. Actually, change “or” to “and.” Kenji is better at ping pong than me. I am getting better, much better – some rallies last for minutes. However, more points end with me either hitting the ball long or the ball into the net. I actually lost to twenty gracefully. Kenji expected more frustration. He often recalls the time when we use to play tennis in the morning, and one morning I calmly walked off the court and smashed my racket repeatedly on a bike rack, dumped it in a trashcan, and walked off without saying goodbye. Yeah, I have it in me, bitches, watch out! I didn’t explode because he is better; I have been trying my best, and have improved. However, in the 4 games since 20, I’ve been driving myself wild. I’ve somehow lost my urge to go for the big shot. There have been several sitting ducks --- certain slams ---which I know I can smash. Suddenly, I have started to calmly hit those back and continue the point until I hit it into the net. If this keeps up, something will get broken!
About this presentation. I’m annoyed first because I don’t want to do it. I am sure it will be awful, as well as boring. But more than anything, it will be embarrassing. I can guarantee you that Kenji is likely composing an evite and compiling names to invite to a “presentation party” such that I have to present in the most awkward environment ever. He’s already hinted at folks he might invite. My stomach is turning as I write this. I’d much rather present the state of the economy to a joint commission of Federal Reserve liaisons than speak in front of my friends.
I will try to get out of this presentation. Two things will likely happen – Kenji will deny me. The Japanese are a cruel race (ala Bridget Jones’ mother). Or, I’ll come up with an adequate double-or-nothing counter and will lose that too! I always LOSE – even when I should win. One of my favorite (or least favorite) case-in-points is the time I made a bet that I would ask (yes, simply ASK) three girls on a date by some date (likely a month from the time we made the bet). I lost, of course, because I am a loser (in every sense of the word in this case), and had to give up meat for a month. This sounds easier than it is. Two weeks in, I was begging for a new challenge. It came. It came in the form of two-on-two basketball – the teams Kenji and Chris against me and Tara (Chris’ wife). I am decent at basketball. It is perhaps the one sport I can definitely beat Kenji at. I figured I’d just go Kobe and I’d be off to Brazilian BBQ to celebrate. Nope! - lost by ONE. I’m still scratching my hair out, literally. I lost meat for another month!
About losing. I hate losing. HATE. I can deal and lose gracefully when I lose to someone better or I don’t beat myself. Actually, change “or” to “and.” Kenji is better at ping pong than me. I am getting better, much better – some rallies last for minutes. However, more points end with me either hitting the ball long or the ball into the net. I actually lost to twenty gracefully. Kenji expected more frustration. He often recalls the time when we use to play tennis in the morning, and one morning I calmly walked off the court and smashed my racket repeatedly on a bike rack, dumped it in a trashcan, and walked off without saying goodbye. Yeah, I have it in me, bitches, watch out! I didn’t explode because he is better; I have been trying my best, and have improved. However, in the 4 games since 20, I’ve been driving myself wild. I’ve somehow lost my urge to go for the big shot. There have been several sitting ducks --- certain slams ---which I know I can smash. Suddenly, I have started to calmly hit those back and continue the point until I hit it into the net. If this keeps up, something will get broken!
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