Rhinoceros in a China-shop

Today certainly was not the smoothest of days. After a standard start to my day – oversleeping (typical), taking too long in the shower (typical), I got to work around 9:15AM only to see my co-worker in a full suit. I gasped as I immediately remembered that I, too, was supposed to wear a suit because we had a video conference with a client. I thought, whelp, I’ll just return home and change. I asked my co-worker, “what time is the meeting?”; “Nine-thirty” he replies. Nice. Then my brain started racing as to how I could get out of the meeting… As I’m processing, my boss runs over to my desk. She needs me to print X, Y, and Z and save X, Y, and Z to my desktop and be prepared to answer any questions the client might have. My co-worker just started last week, and the only other three people scheduled to attend the meeting are: our media person, my boss, and her boss (Partner and co-founder of the Company). Yep, I’m the advanced pion, so my attendance is required.

My boss, in her rush, luckily didn’t notice that I am not only NOT wearing a tie and jacket, but I am not even wearing a solid shirt. I don’t even know how to describe the shirt I am wearing; I’ll just call it modern-plaid. Shut-up, it is not ugly!!! As all of this is going through my mind, my boss asked if I finished printing X, Y, and Z. Nope, I’m still LOOKING for X, Y, and Z on the shared drive. I reply “on it now.” She said “don’t be late.” I reply “Y is 120 pages long.” She replied “she doesn’t care, just don’t be late.” It is 9:23am. I locate the documents, send them to the printer and run to get coffee. I take my coffee, notepad, and computer into the conference room. Since the video conference was already active and I am wearing inappropriate attire I decide to enter the conference room through the back door. Much to my chagrin the backdoor is blocked by all of these billboards propped up on tripod stands. I knock all that shit down. Quite a fucking scene; quite a fucking entrance. I quickly pick up the billboards with my co-worker’s help. I then inform my manager that I need to get the printouts. I run out to do that.

The meeting starts - with, by the way, a very conservative fortune 500 company (name one. Yep, you guessed it!) – and I made it through the introductions without hitch. The presentation starts. I’m logged in, checking email and looking over the data when suddenly my co-worker gets up. She was walking around the table to do something when she bumps one of the billboards. All of the billboards fall - and one fell onto my hand just as I was picking up my coffee. Coffee spills all over the table, all over my computer, all over my notebook. I get up to rush out to get a napkin, but the billboards are in my way. My co-worker and I start to pick them up when the partner tell us “just take all the billboards down.” As he tells me this, he definitely looked at my shirt and rolled his eyes. It goes that way sometimes… I’m just relieved I didn’t wear a suit/tie and one of my good shirts.