You decidehttp://www.cbsnews.com/
Fey (the love of my life, btw)
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_
And…if case you forgot about Miss South Carolina ----
?v=_UNODrg--PQ
posted by cstyle at
6:48 AM
0 Comments
I am a “know it all” when I am interested, curious, and proffer my opinion. I am “patronizing” when I play nice, agree with everything and/or keep my mouth shut.
I am supposed to “think on my own” when I give what you ask for, but you’ve since changed your mind. I am supposed to “follow directions” when I see a gaping hole in your logic and decide not to waste time giving you what you must have mistakenly asked for.
I must keep my desk “neat”, but multi-task six projects.
I must write status reports weekly, but discuss project twice daily – morning and night.
[Oh and I am supposed to send you said perfect “drafts” well in advance (aka NOW) only to have you reschedule meetings to discuss the “drafts” over and over again until we finally meet at the last minute so I can watch you fumble through said work for what is clearly the first time and proffer sweeping changes if not a total “change in direction” for me to complete ASAP with you visiting me every 3-5 minutes, sweating, asking “how’s it coming along?”]
[For the record, while the complete “change in direction” will result in working all night or all weekend, it is preferred to the nitpicking edits, because it is at least proposed with an apology and has less to do with my work-product and more to do with something so farfetchedly left-field that I can’t even begin to offer examples and I damn sure don’t take it personally]
Perhaps I should go home and eat dinner before I get a response to my latest FINAL FINAL.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is a spoof. Any deducted relation to reality is purely coincidental. Shame on you for thinking otherwise. I’ve nothing but love for corporate America!
posted by cstyle at
3:54 PM
1 Comments
Phil
1. Burger Joint - NYC
2. Father's Office - LA
3. JG Melon - NYC
4. Louis' Lunch - CT
5. Boston Blackies – Chicago
Comment by Richards on Phil’s choice: Louis’ Lunch is a source of contention at work because one person says they created the burger while I disagree and state it was first served at the Chicago World Fair.
Kenji
Not in order
Silvio (NYC only)
Taylor
- I don’t like hamburgers and haven’t eaten one since high school.
Chickein
Can only really think of two
Does wendy's count?
Mine
Start your burger circuit…
Recently Visited
BLT Burger 10/1/08 - I recommend
Spotted Pig 10/3/08 - I recommend
posted by cstyle at
2:30 PM
2 Comments
Currently sitting in O’Hare Airport, DELAYED, and figure what a better time to reflect on my weekend in the windy city and most recent accomplishment. First and foremost, I am not just delayed, but I am delayed on standby – my flight was cancelled for no apparent reason – which means if I don’t get on this flight, I will be very likely stuck in the city until tomorrow. This would normally be fine, but it is extremely annoying in this case since (1) I could be still in the city enjoying its beauty and spending time with one of the many friends I neglected to see this past weekend, (2) I paid a premium to get a Sunday flight because I have a stupid client meeting tomorrow that I ABSOLUTELY must be at. I promise I will not say a single word at this meeting (especially now since my files are at home and there is no way I am going to read through the materials after I get home tonight), but somehow my presence at this meeting is necessary and I couldn’t finagle the day off.
Anyway, I am in Chicago for the half-marathon. That’s 13.1 miles of trauma to my knee; that’s 13.1 miles + 48 hours of a throbbing lower-back. Yet, it is 13.1 miles of running with people who love to run, amidst screaming supporters… 13.1 miles to clear my mind and reflect on my life and current state of affairs…and 13.1 miles, being the farthest I’ve ever run – which represents the accomplishment of a personal goal. It is nice to pull out the sharpie and cross personal-goals off my list --- even if they were just added to the list. Ha Ha!
As with anything I do (seriously), it wasn’t a mere walk in the park. An ideal run would be 70-75 degrees and clear blue skies. Variations on that are manageable – it could be a little warmer than you might expect, or cloudy, or sprinkling slightly. Whatever… Stephanie, Cindy, 20,000 faceless people, and I had the great pleasure, today, of running in a torrential downpour. I am not even sure I can or need to say much more on the subject -----It was just raining as hard as it could possibly rain. There were deep puddles, we had to walk through a muddy marsh to get to the start, I ruined my shoes (trashed) and favorite hat (we’ll see). At some point, when I was sprinting the last half-mile, three guys and I literally hydroplaned for a few steps. That was actually kind of cool, except, reflecting upon it, I am lucky not to be sitting on a broken tailbone right now.
I ran most of the race solo. I thought perhaps separation from my running partners was possible, but not less than 1 mile in. Perhaps it was my fault. Not sure. We were trying to push aggressively through the crowd. Steph made an aggressive move to the left, but the group closed quickly around her, so I made an aggressive move to the right. Her friend Cindy followed me, then started yelling “keep going, go, go, go.” I took a few steps at my new pace, and then started feeling guilty/big-brother-ish. Where’s Steph? I turned back and started running diagonally in the wrong direction. I made it to the opposite side, and then started basically running in place looking behind me. After a while of this, and not finding Steph, I decided that she might have pulled ahead. Now I had lost her friend too! I ran for a while, slower than my usual pace hoping to run into Steph, but no luck. At about mile #6, I exchanged words with Loren who mockingly told me the girls were ahead of me….So I took that as my permission to take-off.
I turned back to find Steph because you never leave your training partner. Her friend Cindy is an experienced runner. Steph and I, well, we printed the half-marathon training schedule. Beyond that, our training was one, two, skip a few, ninety-nine, one hundred – utterly ridiculous. The training schedule started two/two-and-a-half months before today. The schedule proposed running three times per week, stretching, strengthening, and adding a mile weekly. Hmm. Umm. Our training schedule included running tops twice a week, and sometimes not at all, eating big meals after three-or-four-mile runs and then playing Wii. Hot. At some point last week, we decided to run some course I randomly claimed was 8-miles, and then last Friday we ran a course a friend of hers told her it was 10-miles…. And so we were ready! It is seriously my blessing that I am always able to partner with someone who is an easy-going near-slacker, but has the mental ability (or necessary stubbornness) to be able to do what needs to be done to get the job done. I have also proved that it is possible to “cram” for a physical activity. We ran our 10-mile trial run at a pace of nearly 8.5 minute miles.
Unfortunately, I did not get to run with Steph. At about mile 9 I randomly caught up with her friend. We ran together for a while, until she unleashed me.
I’d like to take this opportunity to give out some kudos. I need to give 10 kudos to my friend Loren Turner. She is a champion, for real, and a good friend. Loren got up this morning drove down our hotel on the Southside of Chicago to meet us for the race only to stand in the monsoon and cheer. To give you an idea of my kudos scale. I give Leslie, Taylor, etc. 1 or 2 kudos for posting comments to this blog. I give Leslie 5 or 6 kudos for driving from the O.C. to San Diego to pick me up for her pool party. I have no more examples because I am making all of this up because I just came up with the kudos concept while sitting here bored in the airport and probably won’t spend the time to consider passing out or keeping track of additional kudos (or will I? hee hee)…. But Loren, thank you…. I appreciate you…. Today…
Post-Script
- Got home at 2am. Nice.
- Bruised bottom of my foot (must have been the water in my shoe). A new one.
- Attended meeting. When have I ever had nothing to say?
posted by cstyle at
2:07 PM
1 Comments
“Go with the flow” is the easiest and most-common advice to give. “Go with the flow” is great advice to receive because it is easy to understand and appreciate because it is oh-so-simple and practical. “Go with the flow” is also a great affirmation. I often reprimand myself in the mirror for being a suck-bag and promise that I am going to just chill. Then why is it so impossible for me to go with the flow? Perhaps my first mistake is looking in the mirror to coach myself into going with the flow, or praying in Mass for the strength to go with the flow. People who go with the flow don’t talk about it – they certainly don’t blog about it, pray about it, or obsess about it – they just fucking chill (or go buy a fat bag of Pineapple Express) and then tell people like me --- “just go with the flow.”
So is that it? Am I a lost-cause? Will I never be able to go with the flow for the fact that by going with the flow, I will have done so deliberately? I don’t think so. I don’t plan to focus on going with the flow. That’s the end; I need to work on the means. What is stopping me from going with the flow? Countless things?!?! Hopefully not. Anyway, there are a few things that will get me back to the yellow brick road.
First, let’s be real – I’m not that far off. I would guess that 90 percent of everyone I know would describe me as one who goes with the flow. Are they mistaken? Are they not Jedi? No, they are mostly right. I say I go with the flow on most things. When I make plans with people, I TRULY AND HONESTLY don’t care what we do. I really don’t care what I eat or when I eat. I don’t care whether I can rock my Yankee cap and some flip-flops or if it is black tie. It doesn’t much matter who will be there or what time I need to be up the next morning. If you need something from me or need to talk, it doesn’t matter that I have a final the next day or a big paper due or a big work deadline. If my father wants to die a week before a Monday Rice-Evidence final and a Tuesday Securities Regulation final [and if you were around me during that time, you know I’d say ---“yes it sucks that my dad* passed away during finals (or that my dad passed away untimely at all), but it is what it is.”], so be it. I am not cold-hearted, I just understand that there is nothing I can do about certain situations and just roll... Finally, most people know if you were to approach me and tell me that you have a drinking or drug problem, you cheated on your girlfriend/boyfriend, are filing for bankruptcy, or headed to jail for securities fraud – I wouldn’t judge, I probably wouldn’t even blink I’d simply say “where’s the body?” and offer to help you bury it.
Be that as it may. It is true. I am chill and can’t be fazed. Then why is my boss dead-on accurate when she says “you are very deliberate.”? Or, when my boss and I are arguing over some edits and I say “I didn’t know that” and she replies “well you should, Mr. Perfection.” Do I come off that way? Oh shit, is my boss a Jedi? She might be. Hmm. Good to know. Further, how is it that I’ve never fallen in love or even come close. Did I get an email five weeks ago with a simple line embedded in the middle of a paragraph “we shouldn’t try too hard at this point.”? Did I come off that way? I must watch that - and that is what this is all about. I fail at love because I fail to go with the flow.
Beyond family and friendships, there are two things very important to me – career and love. I may succeed at career by failing to go with the flow – it has yet to be determined. Perhaps I possess all of the attributes to succeed (be labeled an asshole, but perhaps succeed) --- I am [or COULD be] a controlling, manipulative*, perfectionist who loves things exactly as I want them and everything immediately. I obsess over every little detail, and over-analyze everything. I then smile and joke and pretend not to care. I am really good at pretending not to care most of the time. Humor mixed with passive-aggressive behavior helps a lot. But sometimes it shows when I am under extreme deadline or something non-work related has worn me down, detracting from my ability to mask. It shows slightly when I am working like a demon-possessed and someone taps me on the shoulder or calls my name and I jumped like Scarface after he has snorted, literally, a mountain of ya-yo Or, apparently, I have a death-stare. Or, apparently (and I need to watch this because someone called me on it last week), I play dumb when I don’t agree.
But love, NO, NO, NO. I can’t do it that way. This has been an epiphany in the making for ONLY the last week* or so. Thus, this is a new concept for me and it will be hard to articulate, but I’ll just write. Here’s the deal - finding love (I mean this word generally, not literally – at least not literally yet –I mean finding out what it is and allowing it to happen or not happen) is very important to me. With this I saw finding love as winning and not as losing, thus I have traditionally tried to control it. Why not? I mean I control other things that are important to me in this regard – my reputation, what people think of me, what people know about me, what people say about me --- CE? Anyone? Bueller?
(This is likely the result of attending a small high school, small college, and even law school. But people from Kenyon and American, at least, will contend that I showed up to school that way --- so digging deeper, perhaps I can say that there are too many gossips in my own-damn-family, or perhaps I have trust issues stemming from being from a single-family home. Who knows? I’ll figure that out later.)
BUT LOVE IS NOT A GAME. At least it is not about winning and losing in the way I am thinking about games. And even if it is, not everyone is playing. What does this mean? It means that not every text message, voicemail, email, or delay-or-lack-thereof should be read and reread, and reread, and reread, and analyzed for some hidden message or residue of an agenda. It means that if someone is not available, or busy, or stressed, or tired, or whatever, they are simply that. And if it is not, it is not. What does this mean? I think over-analyzing, and controlling, and manipulating and general game play is spawned from lack of confidence.
So what if someone says they are busy as a pull-tactic or to create false demand or because they are simply “not that into you”, or if they have a hidden message, or they are playing games with you? So be it. Confidence trumps the game. Consider this similar to the notion of kids at play… One kid is nitpicking at another kid (for any given reason, it doesn’t matter) ---- the nitpicking kid will continue this so long as he gets a reaction out of the other kid. My brother was a nitpicker, and he used to drive me ape. My mother, always ready with advice, would simply advise – “ignore him, he’ll stop.” Of course he didn’t stop immediately, but eventually, if his nitpicking was TRULY not bothering me, he would stop. I say “truly” because pretending not to care doesn’t get the job done, it is transparent (at various levels depending on the opponent). Thus, confidence must be the fountainhead.
And what about lack of confidence? Um, do I really need to say? Lack of confidence is a deal-breaker. I’m not saying that having confidence will guarantee success in life, love, work, sports, crossing any big-apple street, but lack of confidence is certainly not attractive in love, will result in middle-management at work, failing to take the big shot in sports, and will get you honked-at-if-not-killed in Manhattan.
So what are the take-aways regarding work and love? Well, I still think both require effort. Certainly neither can be fully compared to the way I handle my friendships, family life, or social activities. Maintaining a family and social life are second-nature much like breathing. We don’t forget to breathe…but this comparison is deliberate…. I recently learned that while we don’t forget to brea
the we often can forget how to breathe correctly. Sometimes with family and friends and managing a social calendar --- especially in the big city --- we must stop, breathe in through the nose filling first the stomach, then the diaphragm, and then the upper lung and slowly release in reverse order – this is the way we breathe when we sleep… Minor maintenance during rough/stressful times is something necessary.
Love and work require increased effort, but the trick is not to forget to be oneself. Thus, at work, I’ll give a go at some new advice my boss just shared. She said it would be good for me to continue to work hard and to take pride in my work, but to be careful not to become too emotionally-tied to my work-product. I can certainly disagree, but not become “contrary.” At the end of the day, if I am asked to delete a slide, I must delete the slide. Save all versions, of course, but do not try to sneak the same slide through a second-or-third draft.
With love, the goal is to be myself and be confident about who I am and what I am doing. If I want to call to say hello, call to say hello. If I think it would be fun to go throw a Frisbee in the park, suggest it. If I don’t necessarily have a plan, but I just want to see the person, say so. If the person can’t take your call, or doesn’t like Frisbee, or whatever, it might not be personal.
I think it is fair in courtship to shuffle around plans or make a little extra effort to be available – this shows the person you are interested. But you shouldn’t change who you are, abandon your friends, flake on already-established plans, or wait around for the other person to call you. First, doing so could lead to over-exposure, or make you look completely “whipped,” or lead to resentment if the other person isn’t putting in the same or similar effort. Certainly a balance must be maintained here, and it does take some thought and initiative -- especially in the beginning --- but thought, initiative, and maintaining balance should NOT be score-keeping.
Additionally, it is fair to open up and risk being hurt. Let’s be honest, far from every relationship works out. It sucks. And if you open yourself up and get hurt, it sucks even more. However, to succeed you must put your chips on the table. The Croupier might rake your chips away, odds are he will. But what if your number is called (Black 13, bitches) and your chips aren’t on the table? Nothing for you; you will fail at love (long term) if you don’t open yourself up. Believe me, no matter how good you are at wearing masks, your love-interest can and will pick up on the fact that you haven’t opened up and she will bounce, guaranteed. Besides, I recently heard a line --- think it was in the movie Definitely, Maybe --- that provides a little solace…It is simply “if you open the door [for someone] you never know who might walk in.” Hot.
In the meantime, the most important question that needs to be answered, once you’ve established or concluded that you are interested, is whether the other person is interested as well. I think asking this question too soon is a deal-breaker, but waiting for the answer too long can be a waste of time. A very wise friend in undergrad once taught me an invaluable courtship strategy. She was ESL and had to translate, but the translation amounted to: “push, pull, push, push, pull.” In the beginning you show interest, the initial push, but early on you don’t want to be too pushy, so you back off. If the person is interested (or hooked) they will come toward you when you back away. Once you know they are interested and they have betrayed this fact to you, you must put in extra effort to make sure they know you are sincere and to also increase exposure so you know whether the two of you mesh well. At some point, however, you must know whether or not your efforts are holding the relationship together or whether it is something that has been bound and thus will sustain itself. This is the reason for the final pull. To give perspective, most relationships don’t last much beyond the initial push-pull-push and there is no set timeframe to follow --- it must be natural (hmm, a natural process --- oxymoron, anyone?).
Anyway, be confident and pull. If you like the person, you hope they will show interest and come toward you. If not, well, there you go.
I think I am done writing now. This subject is wearing me the hell out. I welcome any and all feedback.
*************************
* I do not manipulate my co-workers; despite my personal ambitions, I am a great team player and am all about both the golden rule and paying it forward.
* No one individual should read into this, I am speaking as generally as possible.
* Timing is a pure coincidence. I have wanted to write on this subject for years! (Though I know I said that many of these concepts are new to me, as of the last week or so)
* I really, really apologize for the length.
* I am very aware that I have violated many grammar rules in this entry – especially usage of the passive voice, lack of paragraphing, and a gross misuse of 1st and 3rd person.
* I am aware of how anal this disclaimer is.
posted by cstyle at
3:22 PM
4 Comments
Labor Day weekend. Summertime, long weekend, means leave NYC – no matter what. I love the Big Apple; I seriously think it is the city from which I will finally stake my claim to life. I love the people, I love the hustle, I love rolling my eyes at tourist as I occasionally lower my shoulder and give one a slight New-York-nudge, I love Central Park, I love the Hudson River and East River and that I live walking distance from both – get it? Good. However, it is the only city I’ve ever lived in where suddenly I get the OVERWHELMING compulsion to escape. I can’t even describe to you the feeling --- I’m sure most New Yorkers understand it…. You wake up and suddenly you are on the phone making plans to get the fuck out. It is at these moments that I flip open the phone – I don’t even know who I plan to call or what I plan to say, but I open it and hit a letter – this time “R” – Rachel… Yes, Rachel. She picks up, yes. “Hey, is this weekend Labor Day?” “Not sure.” “I think it is, I just heard that … what are you up to this weekend?” Not sure, I’m on the cape right now with Scott, we’ve been here all week.” “What!?! What about work?” “I don’t know, I just needed to be out.” “Well, I need to be out of New York this weekend.” She understood, so I’ll see you and Scott and JACK (my favorite dog, ever!) on Saturday.
One thing about living and working in New York is that I can never plan to be anywhere on Friday. Well, I can, but that means I will either have to carry work with me…and then not do it… and then feel sick the night before work or very early before work after a long weekend away trying to make last week’s deadline before Monday morning. I used to do that all the time ---but (1) I got tired of the work hanging over my head guilting-me all weekend, (2) the nausea of returning home knowing that I need to boot-up the computer, (3) being that boring person who talks about the work he must do that weekend, (4) and working with people who work all weekend. About #4, thank you Blackberry and IPhone for changing Friday deadlines from Monday morning before 9AM to actually Friday night/Saturday morning (so long as I don’t go to sleep). Perhaps it is actually #4, also, that made me realize and write numbers 1-3 in hopes that you would be fooled to thinking I would have changed my procrastinating/high-risk behavior without corporate-America lowering its shoulder and giving me a little nudge. Anyway, sorry for the tangent --- I just watched Vicious Circle, please blame Dane Cook. I just get places on Saturday.
So Boston comes with promises of apple-picking, hiking, drinks, laughing, arguing over movie trivia, sharpening my Jedi-skills with one of the most skilled Jedis I know. Sorry, that I cannot explain what I mean by this – if you know, you know. If you are a Jedi (or a Dark Sith Lord, Kenji), we’ve likely been over this. If not, you probably don’t want to get into it with me.
As it turns out, apple-picking and hiking got replaced by Red Sox v. White Sox. Somehow it came up that I had never been to Fenway which probably shouldn’t be the case for a baseball fan – even a diehard Yankee fan --- so we made it happen.
Fenway = great. Experience = best possible experience. This means, I got to see Ken Griffey Jr. play, got to see Thome hit a bomb, got to see Wakefield throw 67-mile per hour knuckle balls, and I got to see Boston lose – but in the right way. By this, I mean, usually I like to see the home team win when visiting a Stadium, it adds to the experience, but my beloved Yankees are 8.5 games back and Boston needs to lose and the Yankees need to win for all to be right in the universe. However, this was the best possible loss --- I mean, Boston had already won the series, the Yankees, unfortunately lost, and the Red Sox rallied in the 9th which appeased the fans. This means, I didn’t have to watch grown men cry or children pouting. Several White Sox fans did get kicked out of the game at the bottom of the 8th/top of the 9th which was just weird…but, okay. A little sun-burn, but much better than a broken jaw – I was forced to leave my Yankee hat at home.
All in all, the weekend away was exactly what I needed… My phone died (last phone call was to my crush --- I had to call to explain why I wrote and emailed her 3 Haiku at 7:45 Saturday morning – no idea, actually, but she’s a Jedi and I’m sure she knows better than I do), Rachel held me to my wish not to check email all weekend, and I dropped 85 dollars only to have someone leave their number at the bar offering to return it! Yes, I easily spent $85-plus celebrating the return of the money and showing my appreciation to the finders-but-not-keepers, but it is nice to know I have good karma in bean town. I am rested and ready to return to the big apple.
posted by cstyle at
8:34 AM
0 Comments
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