I met me.

And I got me’d by me. It hurt, but I hope to laugh about it soon; I am grinning about it now, but that painful awkward grin, a grimace. I understand, but fully don’t understand. I do, however, fully understand why others never understand.

It is complicated, yet oh so simple. So simple that it needs to be complicated. What is so complicated about NO? But complicating NO eases the pain. Aha! But does it? Classic argument: rip the band-aid off or peel it away slowly? Peeling it off slowly hurts and prolongs the pain, and the pain can be exacerbated by anticipation of the pain that is sometimes not fully there. [ I.E. you suffer from the bark, only to find the bite isn’t as bad as you thought it would be; thus, you suffered more than you should have.] On the other hand, ripping the band-aid off quickly can reopen the wound. Careless.

Forget the band-aid analogy; it does not work for me. I’ll stick to what I know. I slam the door shut and sweep up the broken glass. Fast and easy, but acknowledgment that there is and will be broken glass. You sweep the glass and it is clean, but you are not surprised when you walk around barefoot one day and catch a shard that you missed; you missed it because it scattered off to someplace you did not expect. But it is a minor cut and you deal with it quickly. That happens.

I do not regret meeting me. The mirror grants perspective. I like me. I don’t blame me. I don’t blame me and I don’t blame me. The mirror distorts. You stare too long and you find imperfections. You should fix what you can and move on. Live and learn, learn to live. It is better to regret the things you do than to regret the things you don’t do. I looked into the mirror and said “here I am.” I never do that. I understand why. But this time it was worth it. It truly was. I didn’t stare into the mirror for too long, but liked what I saw – even while not seeing what I wanted to see. I didn’t need to stare too long to know I was looking at something special. However, continuing to stare into the mirror, longer than you should, only to change what you see is …um... What’s that word...delusional? Yeah... and so it is time to step away…. Perhaps not forever, but certainly for now. When it is time to acknowledge that the mirror is your friend and nothing more, then you can return to the mirror. If you so choose. It would be silly not to. I like me and look forward to seeing me again soon. Perhaps me looks forward to seeing me too and perhaps when me looks at me, me will see a different me… a me that is more me. Only time will tell; only time can tell. Okay, I think I have written about me enough. Forever.