I am not Psycho, I just say Psycho shit
I keep running into people who tell me my disclaimers are bullshit. They are correct. I know I can’t disclaim what I wrote, because if I didn’t mean it, then why would I write it. It would be similar to undergrad when I was open about hiding my crazy, but hid my crazy well – then, the joke/common-understanding was that my favorite key on the keyboard was backspace. Well, I still backspace, but only far less.
Without disclaimer, however, is justification. If nothing can be disclaimed, then certainly lots can be qualified or justified - I mean I have an advanced degree in the art. Hell, I’m trained in the art that got OJ off. Anyway, I digress.
So, what about this???
My new disclaimer…errrrr, I mean thoughts on the subject: I have no control over what I write. I don’t actually intend to say or write what I do. Sometimes I don’t intend to write when I am writing. Like, for example, right now – I am on the PATH train, it is packed, guy next to me was reading the Wall Street Journal, now he is straight reading the Bible. Now I am scared – what if he glances at what I just wrote and flips out…It is always the folk who would otherwise be reading the Bible on the train – especially followed by the WSJ, especially during these troubling financial times – who one might expect to randomly start slashing away at the face of the idiot person next to him who should have known better than to talk[write] shit about the person sitting right next to him. Perhaps, if I weren’t wearing earbuds, he’d be set to strike up a conversation about the end of the world and then slash me away to his maker. Okay – see, what’s what I mean, you think I intended to write that or even knew those words would come before they did? No. Hell-to-the-no.
Well, now you understand, that’s me. It’s like on Heroes when one of the countless characters who can paint the future zones out to do so. Their eyes roll back and turn all white and then they paint feverishly for several moments before snapping out of the trance only to inspect their work and gasp with shock. (See: http://heroeswiki.com/Precognition) It is certainly not quite that dramatic, but I can relate to an extent.
My first true experience with this was in high school during my first in-class stream-of-consciousness writing assignment. At first, I resisted. I must have known something was up because I was totally scared to write and wasted a few moments searching for the right words. However, we only had fifteen minutes so I started at the most logical place… I started writing about how I didn’t know what to write about. This soon morphed into how this assignment was a silly waste of time, but I disclaimed that thought immediately by kissing the teacher’s ass within in the next sentence or two about how I trusted the curriculum and owed it to myself to try… and then it happened, I let loose. Who knows what I actually wrote on the latter-half of that page, but the feedback was “interesting.” I’m sure it was.
You may wonder why this blog is called Another Law School Rapper. It is called such because I write rhymes. I don’t really call them raps because I’m not making music, but I also don’t call them poems because that just sounds lame. So where are these rhymes? That’s the point, I can’t share them. I’ve shared a few here and there, but most would (especially read out of context) make me look completely insane. I cannot share them unless you can fully embrace the concept of disclaimer. The disclaimer to my rhymes would be: I promise I do not mean or think half of what I just wrote; further, I promise these aren’t even my thoughts. This is why I am a big fan of Eminem and defend his lyrics ---- I truly believe him when he says:
Without disclaimer, however, is justification. If nothing can be disclaimed, then certainly lots can be qualified or justified - I mean I have an advanced degree in the art. Hell, I’m trained in the art that got OJ off. Anyway, I digress.
So, what about this???
My new disclaimer…errrrr, I mean thoughts on the subject: I have no control over what I write. I don’t actually intend to say or write what I do. Sometimes I don’t intend to write when I am writing. Like, for example, right now – I am on the PATH train, it is packed, guy next to me was reading the Wall Street Journal, now he is straight reading the Bible. Now I am scared – what if he glances at what I just wrote and flips out…It is always the folk who would otherwise be reading the Bible on the train – especially followed by the WSJ, especially during these troubling financial times – who one might expect to randomly start slashing away at the face of the idiot person next to him who should have known better than to talk[write] shit about the person sitting right next to him. Perhaps, if I weren’t wearing earbuds, he’d be set to strike up a conversation about the end of the world and then slash me away to his maker. Okay – see, what’s what I mean, you think I intended to write that or even knew those words would come before they did? No. Hell-to-the-no.
Well, now you understand, that’s me. It’s like on Heroes when one of the countless characters who can paint the future zones out to do so. Their eyes roll back and turn all white and then they paint feverishly for several moments before snapping out of the trance only to inspect their work and gasp with shock. (See: http://heroeswiki.com/Precognition) It is certainly not quite that dramatic, but I can relate to an extent.
My first true experience with this was in high school during my first in-class stream-of-consciousness writing assignment. At first, I resisted. I must have known something was up because I was totally scared to write and wasted a few moments searching for the right words. However, we only had fifteen minutes so I started at the most logical place… I started writing about how I didn’t know what to write about. This soon morphed into how this assignment was a silly waste of time, but I disclaimed that thought immediately by kissing the teacher’s ass within in the next sentence or two about how I trusted the curriculum and owed it to myself to try… and then it happened, I let loose. Who knows what I actually wrote on the latter-half of that page, but the feedback was “interesting.” I’m sure it was.
You may wonder why this blog is called Another Law School Rapper. It is called such because I write rhymes. I don’t really call them raps because I’m not making music, but I also don’t call them poems because that just sounds lame. So where are these rhymes? That’s the point, I can’t share them. I’ve shared a few here and there, but most would (especially read out of context) make me look completely insane. I cannot share them unless you can fully embrace the concept of disclaimer. The disclaimer to my rhymes would be: I promise I do not mean or think half of what I just wrote; further, I promise these aren’t even my thoughts. This is why I am a big fan of Eminem and defend his lyrics ---- I truly believe him when he says:
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
And at the same time, make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme
So what you are seeing is a genius at work
Which to me isn’t work, so it’s easy to misinterpret it at first,
Cuz when I speak it’s tongue in cheek
I’d yank my fuckin teeth before I’d ever bite my tongue
I’d slice my gums, get struck by fucking lightening twice at once
And die and come back at Vanilla Ice’s son…
And so what’s really behind all this. I let an email fly sharing my thoughts. The thoughts were true, but could have been presented in a more clear and concise way. Again, unlike a Heroes character, I don’t gasp when I read my own product, but I certainly kick myself when I reread it and don’t even fully understand what it was that I was trying to say. If it is not clear to me, then it can be interpreted by others a million different ways. It is good if it is good, but it is bad if it is bad. I guess I can’t control how people interpret my words, just as I can’t disclaim anything….but just know I will justify and qualify until I see a smile. When I see a smile or even a nod, I’ll know that you know that I am not psycho, I just write psycho things.
Disclaimer: “You” doesn’t mean “you” per se, but can mean anyone and everyone. Seriously.
And if you choose to think "you" are you, please also choose to enjoy this song:
HAHA.
posted by cstyle at
10:15 PM
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