Friday, March 9, 2012

Joe Biden: Happiest Guy in the World

Would you just look at that mug!? I don't need to write much because, here, the cliché is true. Let the thousand words run through your mind. Or two point five words: he's happy.


Wouldn't you be? Dude gets to roll with and play number two to arguably the coolest rock star President in the history of the United States, Barack Obama. There is no expectation that Joe Biden will ever be President (and he exudes no inkling of desire), so there is likely no competition, posturing or jealousy there. Certainly being POTUS comes with seemingly unmanageable stress, but beyond Joe Biden, Bill Clinton, Derek Jeter and Snoopy (… as Joe Cool), Obama seems to be as cool as a cucumber. I know our executives do work – look at what they’ve accomplished – but, I imagine Biden and Obama hanging out, joking, drinking beer, gossiping, shooting basketball, playing pool and exchanging looks/inside jokes during government meetings. I think he loves his job.

  
What Vice President wouldn't, honestly?

But what else does Biden have that has escaped many a Vice President? Minimal drama and very few haters. As I write this, no doubt, Jimmy Fallon made fun of Biden for falling asleep during his own speech. Additionally, I was reminded that Biden "speaks honestly and just offends" and I, sadly, want him to step down. Not because I don't like him. No, no, no, but only upon the condition that Hillary Clinton becomes Veep. I love her and miss the drama. But seriously, what else is there to say about Biden… Consider his predecessors: 
  • Dick Cheney. Evil Incarnate, corruption, defacto decision-maker, heart trouble, shot someone in the face.
  • Al Gore. Boring. Looked clammy under camera. Claims he invented the internet. Even if he didn't really actually claim as much, this misunderstanding speaks for itself, right? 
  • Dan Quayle. Clumsy, misspoke regularly. "Is no Jack Kennedy." 
  • GW Bush. Probably a GREAT VP. Probably great like Al Gore and probably as powerful as Cheney. Growing up I recalled thinking: wow, he ran the CIA?!? I actually thought he ran the CIA as Veep, so always figured, shaaaa-dyyyy.
  • Spiro T. Agnew. First of all use of middle initial, nuff said. Not enough? Served as Veep to Nixon. Enough? No? Um, only VP to ever resign because of criminal charges.
  • LBJ. Handled the presidency with grace under pressure. As Veep, a hater.
  • Nixon. Tell me Ike didn't strain his neck looking over his shoulders? 
I'll stop now. The realty is, Biden will likly go down in history, Alben Barkley. Who? Yes, exactly. But for now, he's chillin'. I'm giving him a shout out because he's currently VP and I love his smirk. Furthermore, he's Catholic, has a cool secret service code name (Celtic), and has a hot wife. I'd say life is good for Joe, I'd say Mr. Biden is happy.

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