Wag the Dog, Seriously

It is like the creative political powers that be are competing with Hollywood.  This year has been crazy, and for Oscar season queue up:  Blagojevich!   I think he walks with the Oscar, but let’s first review the other nominees:

Eliot Spitzer (call me Client Number 9, I’m a fucking steamroller)

David Paterson (what? my wife was cheating on me too!)

Ted Stevens (I was only convicted of 7 counts of fraud, elect me)

George Bush (I probably wasn’t ready for the war…)

Larry Craig (I’m guilty, I’m not guilty, I’m guilty, I’m not guilty of reaching under the stall just to say hello)

Jim McGreevey (I thought my wife knew I was “cheating,” I totes don’t have enough cash for alimony)

Bob Ney (I’ll try to show up to court as soon as I sober up; getting caught lying to the government is “stressful”)

Tom DeLay (I’m back, bitches, please attend my fund-raiser)

Charlie Rangel (I’ve the ways and means to claim whatever on my taxes)

John McCain (I’m with Rangel, I don’t even know how many homes I have)

Sarah Palin (fire that bastard! What?!? You’re fired. I’m headed to Neiman Marcus)

 Okay, that’s all I could think of; I am too distracted by fact that is mid-December and rainy in New York, but snowed today in New Orleans, KB Toys filed for bankruptcy, Bank of America announced that it will cut over 30,000 jobs over the next three, and Scores NYC is closing citing the financial crisis.  Yes I’d say increased corporate disclosure of expense acco

unts and open-season (aka wire-tapping) on the moral integrity of elected officials is a financial crisis to the stripper industry.

 Alas, back to Blagojevich.  Congrats, buddy, you will finally resign, you will go to jail, and you will be laughed at. 

 “I’ve got this thing and its fucking golden, and uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for [] nothing…I can always use it.  I can parachute me there.”

 “They’re [Obama’s staff] not willing to give me anything except appreciate.  Fuck them.”

 “I want to make money’

 “I don’t care whether you tape me privately or publicly.  I can tell you that whatever I say is always lawful.”

 Do you think you were being taped, Mr. Blagojevich? You betcha! 

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 [Okay I just fell asleep writing, that’s a first.  I’ve no idea why “s” is my sleeping letter of choice.  I wish it were “z”, that would be appropriate, but I’m leaving the “s” for authenticity.  Besides it shows I have a strong ring finger --- watch out ladies!]

 Anyway, how stupid can you be?  I don’t throw around that word lightly.  I considered narcissistic, desperate, reckless, or completely out of control.  But nothing rings as appropriate, here, as stupid.  I mean you are trying to sell a senate seat… Not just any senate seat, Mr. Blagojevich, the senate seat left vacant by the president-elect.  And in Illinois, no less, a state known for corruption.

 Here’s another word – EGO.  Why on earth won’t you step down?  Cut your loss and bow out gracefully.  Have you looked into Lisa Madigan’s eyes?  She will torch you.  Another bit of advice do not use Ed Genson.  Do you want your name associated with R. Kelly.  That’s like hiring the late Johnny Cochran.  He may get you off, but you will ALWAYS guilty.